I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
