You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
