i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
