What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
