its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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