i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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