Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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