so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
