i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
