i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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