Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
