Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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