its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
