sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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