That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
