spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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