It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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