don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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