the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
