u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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