i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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