If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
