Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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