This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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