On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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