bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
