If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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