You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize