Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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