which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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