Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
