Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
