i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
