It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
