Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize