Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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