So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
