I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize