Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
