What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
