im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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