you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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