I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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