also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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