Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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