**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
