he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
