he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
