you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm passing your future prison.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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