Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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