a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize