So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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