Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
