And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
