i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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