Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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