he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
