Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
