i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
