i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
