I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
