i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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