I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
