dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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