Dual....:-)
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
