so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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