Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
