Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
