Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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