Don't you send me to vm
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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