$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
