I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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