Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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