i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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