so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
