The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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