Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
