thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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