y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Alive.
So much puke
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
