You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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